Riding on the Coat-tails of Christians

I am grateful for the time off that I have in order to spend time in the presence of God. I am given thoughts to ponder over that normally I would be too busy to hear. One thought is the fact that for as long as I have been a Christian, I have been riding on the coat tails of Christians. Trying each time to adopt their beliefs, hoping that if I spent enough time around them I would come to believe. There is one problem with this. Perhaps two. By putting all in following other Christians I am led into truths and untruths. I will continue to doubt God's presence in my life as long as I try to buy into the different beliefs out there. Until I read the Bible for myself and allow God to speak to me through His word and having different passages or verses stand out, I will always be wondering, "Does this Christian have the truth?" I will try to believe what they believe because I want to believe, not because I do believe. Big difference.

Most of my life has been spent riding others coat tails in the hopes of being accepted, liked and adopting others beliefs. I never trusted my own instincts, my insights. I would see something in a vision and then dismiss it as my imagination as soon as someone doubted what I saw. I would doubt faiths because there were so many and each could tell me why they believed what they believed. The more Christians I tried to follow in hopes of coming to the truth, the more confused I became and eventually I would leave the faith altogether.

Today it is different. I no longer believe I will gain truth by riding the coat tails of different Christians or faiths. It is time to begin the journey of trusting God for the answers and then making a decision of who I believe practices God's truths closest to what I come to believe the word says. It may be confusing at times, that is ok. I don't believe God intends me to understand everything. He does however, desire for me to follow the truth as much as I can according to my understanding of truth. If I genuinely seek truth, if I pray before reading, I believe our Loving God will not disappoint me. I have hope today. Hope that I will begin riding the coat tails of the Holy Spirit as He directs my thoughts and insights.